Community

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about bucket filling and I got an amazingly positive response.  I’ve heard some great stories from people who have used bucket filling in their daily lives.  My mom bought the book as a Christmas present for my little cousins. I heard from two teams out west who are going to start a program like ours. Personally, I got some really sweet text messages from friends congratulating me on my impact.  If you used bucket filling with your family, friends, office, team, or wherever I would love to hear about it, no matter how big or how small.  I’m hoping that I can collect some stories and use them in a future blog post to help keep the bucket-ball rolling … so to speak. Send me an email at alison.chalke@unb.ca

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Seventeen months ago I packed my life into a few suitcases and boxes and flew 5,000 kilometers to a community I knew very little about, and who knew even less about me.  I played out west, so I knew what I was getting into; I could balance a full course load with a basketball schedule, I could handle and mediate conflict with teammates, but my knowledge of New Brunswick consisted of a third grade project on the Hartland Bridge and some really scary looking snowstorms on the Weather Network. Now that I’ve settled in here I feel like I just need to take this chance to tell the people of Fredericton that you’re awesome.

Last year I’d come out of the locker room after a game and head back upstairs to watch the boys play.  I’d sit on the baseline bleachers with the girls on my team who were also from out of town, or with Barb, or with Coach Speedy’s kids, but other than that I didn’t know anyone.  In the last year and a half I’ve felt so adopted by the community here. Now while the boys are playing I don’t even have time to talk to all the people I want to see.

I was looking at some stats the other day and I noticed that we have the highest game attendance in the AUS, and one of the highest in the country.  I think that is pretty awesome, and a real testament to how amazing our community is.  One of the reasons I came to UNB is because of how involved the team is in the community.  I haven’t really posted about the stuff we’ve done because I don’t want it to seem like that’s the reason we do it but lately I’m noticing that for all that we “give” we get back more than I realized.  

I remember being approached at half-time of a game last year by a girl in the first grade who wanted my autograph.  I’d been to her school earlier in the week with the Read With The Reds program, and she had brought the book I’d given her for me to autograph. I hadn’t even taken off my warm-up top but this kid had come out to see me. I was floored.

I’ve said it before, and you’re probably getting tired of it, but my team is like a family, and by extension their families are mine too. Linda Speedy cooks the most amazing team suppers, and Mel’s mom has a ‘mom hug’ for me whenever I need one. But the community that I feel a part of is so much bigger than that. Whether it’s a pat on the shoulder from Mr. Springer as he walks by the bench, or my roommate and her friends cheering for me from their seats right at centrecourt I just feel so welcome here. It didn’t happen right away, but somehow over the last year and a half I’ve really started to think of Freddy as home.

Yours,

Allie

Roles and Legacy

Whether you’re watching highlights on TSN or sitting in the stands at a high school game you hear people talking about “players’ roles”.  Teams can succeed or fail based on how well players understand, accept, and embrace their roles.  Roles on our team are well defined.  Ask any of my teammates what her role is and she’ll be able to tell you.  We each have a list of things we focus on doing every day.

Some roles are a lot more glamourous than others.  There are girls on my team whose roles involve scoring points, running our offense, or leading us across various statistical categories. There are roles (including mine) that aren’t as exciting. Roles that are about making teammates better in practice, and being positive on the bench.

Yesterday we had a “role meeting”.  Everyone met in the team room and we went around and shared our roles.  We do this so that everyone knows what to expect from each other and we can help keep each other accountable.

All this talk about roles got me thinking about legacy, about what gets left behind after a player graduates. (Remember back in September when I warned you about my melodramatic end-of-career ramblings? Well, here we go…).  I have teammates who are going to be in record books, their names on plaques for the rest of UNB’s history.  In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not one of those players.

I’ve come to terms with that, and I’m okay with it. My struggle now is trying to figure out how be relevant, how to create something that lasts beyond my time here.  It’s like the way that I hope (a little shamefully) that every now and then in the Quest Kermodes locker room someone pipes up with a comment about how they miss me, or a story about something I did.  They’ve moved on, and it should be noted that they’re doing quite well, but a little part of me hopes that they miss me.  I know it’s selfish, but I can’t help it.

I just finished reading Don’t Put Me In, Coach, a book by Ohio State men’s basketball walk-on Mark Titus. Titus chronicled his time as a Buckeye on a blog he created titled Club Trillion.  For the most part he wrote about team shenanigans and the pranks he pulled on his NBA-bound teammates, all while remaining pleasantly self-deprecating.  He became a sort of hero for benchwarmers, average Joe’s, and anyone who was ever picked last.  When a player gets in for one minute and does not record a single stat her stat line reads as a 1 followed by a row of zeros, or, a trillion, and that’s where Club Trillion came from. 

The book really helped me put my role into perspective because there are players like me on every team.  Ones who have embraced their role better than I have. Heck, embraced it enough to publish a book about it.  On my team all of our roles are different, but they are all of equal value. Sure, we wouldn’t be a very good basketball team if our five starters disappeared, but we would be even worse if they were the only ones on the team.

I’m not going to make a play to win a game, or lead my team in a statistical category (except maybe ‘most Trillions’) but that doesn’t mean that my role doesn’t have value. Maybe Claire is a better captain because of conversations we’ve had.  Maybe three years from now Chelsey invites a rookie over for dinner when she sees she’s had a tough week. Maybe Katelyn gets a little bit stronger every day because I’m there pushing on her.  Actually, who am I kidding, that last one is definitely true, and I have the bruises to prove it.

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This weekend we play on Saturday against St.FX.  The game times are flipped so the boys play at 6:00 and we follow at 8:00.  Mark your calenders.  As always you can get the details at www.vreds.ca

For more info on Mark Titus check out his blog at www.clubtrillion.blogspot.com and before you go out and buy his book for your loved ones just a heads up that it's a little crude (if it were a movie it would probably have a 14A rating)

Allie         

  

New Year

I've definitely picked up a habit of writing while I'm on the road, or in this case, in the air. I'm on a flight back to Freddy right now. I had an amazing nine days at home. Time to rest, relax, and (I think) finally beat the virus that has been bugging me since a summer vacation in the Middle East. Everyone is heading back today or tomorrow in time to get back in the gym on the morning of the 2nd.

New Years is always a time for reflection, but more so it's about looking forward to the year ahead. Forgive the overused cliche, but it's time to ditch the bad habits of 2012 and focus our energies on the possibilities that lie in 2013. We are 40% of the way through our season, and for those who like math, I'm 89% of the way through my basketball career. The team received an email from Barb the other day. She asked two questions. The first: what are you going to change in the second half of our season? The second: what inspires you?

I can change to be better. I can push harder, eat better, lift more, and run faster. I can be more disciplined. I can hold myself and my teammates to a higher standard. I can find my voice when it helps the team and hold my tongue when it doesn't. I can rest my head on my pillow at the end of each night knowing that I did all I can to make us better.

Inspiration? I'm inspired by a note in my bucket that reminds me of my value. I'm inspired by the look on Caroline's face when she pushes out an extra rep that she didn't think she could do. I'm inspired by the advice from Cory, who always seems to say exactly what I need to hear. I'm inspired by my team, and motivated by the ticking clock. The younger girls on my team won't understand this, but this is my last chance to prove myself on my favourite field of battle. As a team, they'll get to do it again, and they have more chances if this season isn't all that we want it to be. But I won't be there, and neither will Mel, and neither will be some of the other girls.

I've played on enough teams to know that what we have now is something special. The chemistry on this team isn't something that you find everywhere. It's not something that most teams have.

So right now, as I sit bouncing my way through the air over Quebec with Tilly beside my and sitting in my favourite row (13 - of course), all I can think about is how grateful I am. I should probably be angry that we are 1-7, disappointed that my health has limited me. And on the bad, selfish, days I am. But today? On this day that celebrates renewal all I know is how lucky I am to be a part of a team that makes me smile and laugh every day.

If you want to see some of my favourite pictures of the team from 2012 click the jump ("Read More") below.

On Monkeys and Insanity

I need to start this post with a tremendous thank you for everyone's kind words regarding my last post. To everyone who tweeted, emailed, shared my post and to friends who told me that they enjoyed it - thank you very much.  I am touched, humbled, and flattered by your kindness.  Thank you for filling my bucket.

When I wrote my first post of the year I mentioned that I wouldn't be spending a lot of time summarizing our games. I did this for a few reasons.  For one, I am by no means a professional and my writing cannot compete with the journalists who cover us. For another, I'm far from impartial, and would really struggle if I had to talk about my opponents. The biggest reason is that after tough weekends I wouldn't really know what to say. How do you sit down at a computer and crank out 500 words on disappointment, frustration, or heartbreak? It would be hard to write and brutal to read. After two tough losses against Acadia I couldn't even write. After two more losses last weekend I just ignored the games and wrote about our locker room. But this week, after two very difficult losses I can't ignore it anymore. We are 0-6. Winless. In last place. There is a monkey on our back who is tightening his grip and refuses to be ignored any longer.

Everyday this monkey attacks our confidence. He tries to lure us away from self-discipline. He tries to steal our love for this game. And if we let him have his way we'll stop caring, we'll stop working, and we'll lose sight of our goals.

Let me be really clear: losing sucks. It sucks. It doesn't just make you sad, it's more complicated than that. You're angry, disappointed, ashamed, and embarrassed. You regret bad decisions and replay your mistakes over and over again in your head. It hurts, in your body, mind, and spirit. But this pain is useful. The pain of losing reminds us that the pain of workouts isn't nearly as bad as we think it is. The big problem is if we begin to tolerate losing, if the sting after the sixth loss doesn't hurt as much as the first. That's when you know you're in trouble, and that's when the monkey wins.

Coach Speedy tells us that 'insanity' can be defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Something clearly isn't working on our team. I mean it when I say that I love my team, but we just aren't getting the job done on the court. We've clearly hit a wall and we can either continue to bash our heads against it or we can get creative; we can change something up, and experiment with ways to go under, over, or around the wall.  I don't have the solution, but we all know that something isn't working.

For our supporters who are reading this, thank you for sticking with us while we are struggling. I have seen my team do great things and I believe we will get there again. If it is any consolation I want you to know that the sting of losing is still there, and the sixth loss didn't hurt any less than the first - it hurt exponentially more.

We know that our season isn't off to a great start but we aren't giving up. We will get creative and we will shake off this monkey. We are committed to fixing our mistakes and moving forward. This week we are clenching our jaws, pushing our limits, and raising our bar.

Allie

Bucket Filling

“All day long, everyone in the whole wide world walks around carrying an invisible bucket. You can’t see it, but it’s there. … Your bucket has one purpose only.  Its purpose is to hold your good thoughts and good feelings about yourself. You feel very happy and good when you bucket is full and you feel very sad and lonely when your bucket is empty.” So begins a children’s book titled “Have You Filled a Bucket Today” by Carol McCloud.

The book continues on to explain how you fill other people’s buckets by giving them compliments, helping them, and telling them you love them.  It also cautions against having an empty bucket, when you are tempted to dip into someone else’s full bucket.  The book explains that we are all either ‘bucket fillers’ or ‘bucket dippers’. We can either be positive influences in the lives of other people or we can be negative influences.  

Now, if you’re still reading, please stay with me.  I promise I will explain why this is relevant to a university basketball team.  

I first encountered bucket filling last summer when I was helping run a workshop for teenage girls.  My boss’ wife brought the book and read it to the girls.  Although skeptical at first, I was amazed at how well a bunch of 13-16 year old girls responded.  We spent hours discussing high school pressures and the difficulties of being a teenager.  We concluded that life would be a lot easier if girls took time to fill each other’s buckets instead of constantly dipping into them.  The metaphor is simple, but really resonated with the girls, and with me.  I entered this season with a new perspective.  As a fifth year a lot of my role was going to involve telling teammates what to do, calling girls out when they do something wrong, and beating up on them in practice. When I do these things I’m doing my job and I’m helping my team, but I can’t just empty buckets.  I need to fill them as well.

In September I had a conversation with Barb, our mental skills coach, and explained how I was going to make a concerted effort to fill buckets.  Nothing big, nothing fancy, but I was going to try to remember to be positive with my teammates. Now, I need to take this chance to tell you a little bit about Barb.  I’ve tried to write about her before but I can never come up with the right words.  Barb is amazing.  She is compassionate and encouraging while still being exceptionally competitive.  If you need anything from her you just need to think about it and she magically makes it happen.  Anyway, I told her about my new focus on filling buckets and she ran with it, finding a tangible way to bring it to the team. 

A week later we each had a bucket in our lockers and pads of paper in the teamroom.  We started that day by leaving each person a note and we’ve continued on since then.  There aren’t any rules.  Notes can be signed or anonymous (although any that I get addressed to “grandma” I know came from a rookie). Sometimes I leave a teammate a note if I notice she’s been struggling, or if she’s really stepped up and deserves to be recognized.   The words I’ve found in bucket have been incredibly moving, supportive, and source of motivation. “Your caring attitude will be the reason that we succeed” said one note that I found in my bucket. “I would be lost at practice without you” said another.  After a particularly tough day I got one that said “I want you to remember how important you are to our team at all times”.

I think ‘buckets’ are a great tool for classrooms, teams, workplaces and families.  When my team feels good about ourselves we work harder, are more productive, and are definitely a lot nicer to be around.  The notes in our locker are amazing, but bucket filling can be simpler too.  Give someone a hug or a high five and tell them you appreciate them.

So if you’re still reading this do me a favour okay?  Fill someone’s bucket today. Recognize a co-worker for their hard word, give your parents a note with the top five reasons you love them, or thank a teammate for making you better today.  You’ll feel good, they’ll feel good, and you’ll both have a better day.

 

My Last First Home Game

Mel Foster and I are both in our fifth year of eligibility.  No matter what happens this season we can’t play another one.  We’ve been talking about it a lot.  Everything that happens now is for the last time around – and we keep mentioning it.  “This is the last time we’ll go to the Athlete Compliance Meeting” “This is the last time we’ll play at the Helen Campbell Tourney” and so on.  Sometimes we get a little ridiculous – “This is the last time we’ll have to practice in The Pit on a Tuesday when it’s raining”. This weekend is a big one.  Tomorrow we open the regular season, at home, against Acadia.  It is our last first game, our last home opener.

Why is this milestone important? Well for the first time in eight months we’re playing in a game that matters.  A game where the result has a bigger ramification than our moods for the night.  Plus, we’re playing it at home which – trust me – is every athlete’s favourite place to play.  There is a fair bit of anticipation surrounding this weekend.  All that being said, it’s still November so there isn’t really a lot of pressure yet.  We’re chomping at the bit to get going but we’ve got five months to fix any mistakes. It’s the recipe for a great weekend. 

We’re prepared.  Like I said last week, we’ve gone though a long preseason and played some very tough competition.  We have learned a lot.  We rallied when we were behind, and we kept it together when we could have fallen apart. We won some games against some strong teams and we lost some as well.  We’ve lifted weights, we’ve run sprints, and done breakdown drills.  We’ve had team dinners (and breakfasts and lunches) and bonding activities.  We’ve watched video, had game-day shoots, and 36 practices.  And the best part? We’re only just getting started.     

Tip tomorrow and Saturday is at 6:00.  The men follow both nights at 8:00.  If you can’t make it to the Currie Centre you can find links to the webcast at vreds.ca.

Allie

Preseason Wrap-Up

We went 1-2 on the weekend. We lost to Div I University of Maine on Thursday night and Div II Southern New Hampshire University on Friday. This afternoon we beat Div II Saint Anslem. Right now were on the long drive back to Freddy from Manchester, NH.

The team is split up into three vans. I'm in one with Tilly, Caroline, Dutchie, and Nisja, accompanied by Skip and Jennifer Speedy (Coach's parents). I'm not entirely sure where we are... somewhere in Maine. We just finished watching Slumdog Millionaire - a slight challenge with the subtitles on the van's teeny TVs.

The long drive is sort of symbolic; we're transitioning between two distinct parts of the year. We just played our last game of the preseason. When we get back to work this week it's for real. The last twelve games have been important steps for us to grow and gel as a team, but wins and losses didn't matter. We were out there focusing on getting better everyday, but we weren't looking at the scoreboard. Do we still need to get better everyday? Of course, but we have another job now, a job that is a whole lot less subjective.

It's sort of like midterms (which we are all a little focused on right now). Sometimes you have to write essays. Essays are subjective: you can get two different grades from two different profs with the same essay. Multiple choice tests are different, each question has a right answer and if you choose that one you get the question right. If you choose a different option you get the question wrong. No opinion, no analysis, no trying to talk your way towards a few marks when you don't know the right answer.

I'd be lying if I said we didn't care about wins and losses in the preseason. None of us would have gotten very far in competitive sports if we didn't like winning. But winning isn't the focus during preseason.

There are a few objectives in the preseason.

Early on we do fitness testing and get our butts kicked in workouts (I'll take this opportunity to brag about my PB beep test score). We shake off any summer rust and get some casual runs in.

Once practices get started we go pretty hard, and usually have some extra cardio and sprints thrown in at the end. The worst thing is when you think practice is over and then, surprise! Get on the sideline and get ready to run. Sometimes we try to sneak a peek at Speedy's practice plan so we know if it's coming (sorry Coach...).

When preseason tournaments get added the schedule gets a little busy but it helps get us settled into a routine. Tourneys give us a chance to play against defences that we don't use and, in some cases, girls who are faster, bigger, and stronger than we are.

Once this car ride is over the preseason is officially finished.

We got a lot from our preseason. We're smarter, tougher, and, okay right now we're a little tired, but we're energized. We're excited to get going with the next big step in our journey. The real challenge starts now. And we're ready.